Last Post of the Year!

     Hello all! Well, this week has gone by incredibly quickly, but here we are, at the eve of 2013. I'm still not sure what it is that I'm doing tonight... New Year's has a history of being a rather disappointing and/or boring holiday for me, and because my boyfriend is out of town, I'm not going to put too much stock into it. Whatever I end up doing on the last night of 2012, I will be content (:

Also, if you see nothing else on this post, please watch this video. Cathy and I were just messing about a few days ago, and I decided I wanted to make a non-topical vlog thing of our time together. So I'm going to stitch together an actual vlog later, but here is a musical representation of how we spent December 29th, 2012. Using a live version of "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons. Because apparently Cathy spent all of Christmas learning the clapping patterns, and when she demonstrated, an idea was born!

 I have also followed the tradition of setting up New Year's Resolutions.

 I'm calling these my "13 Goals for 2013"

1. Get a nice picture with my boyfriend. This is a joke we established last week, but I'm as serious about doing it as one can be about such a dumb thing! We've been together for a month and a half, and yet there are no pictures of us together. I think this is because I have an underlying fear that we look like an awkward couple, so I just don't want to look at us together and know for sure hahaha. That was probably unnecessarily personal, but welcome to the blog!
2. Keep my GPA over a 3.3 every quarter. I don't know what that equates to in letter grades, but this past quarter, I took two classes, partied with mono, and got a 3.815. So I'd like to think a 3.3 is doable! Even if I'll be adding another course, hopefully getting a job, and getting more involved in my sorority.
3. Read 20 books. My goal for this past year was to read ten books, and I got a solid seventeen! I've been a total failure at reading during university, so this'll serve as a way of pushing myself.
4. Continue to update this blog at least twice a week! As we all know, I don't have the best track record in posting on here. But doing this has pretty much been the highlight of my winter break, and I want to keep it up! Maybe even get a few people to... uhm... read it.
5. Keep under 130lbs. Fun facts about me: in 2012, I lost a fair amount of weight because I started having anxiety issues when I got my job over the summer, and then I started my life at UCI, which somehow dropped my weight to about 127lbs. And I'd be absolutely over the moon to stay there. But being at home for two weeks during the holidays has been a bit of a struggle. I miss constantly having something to do! I miss the gym! I miss snacking all day! I miss walking everywhere! Hopefully it'll be easier when I get back. And wow, this turned into a bit of ramble, but that's my goal.
6. No longer associate ~intimacy with crippling anxiety and the urge to literally chuck myself off a building. Despite my honest nature, I'm not going to go into that one too much. All you need to know is that holy hell this topic does nothing but make me nervous. I gotta figure out what the fuck is going on.
7. Have enough money to go to Europe this summer! My cousin and I made preliminary plans to visit my sister in Germany about six months ago, and I am hoping beyond all hope that we follow through with it. It would be an absolute dream! I just need to keep my bank account from depleting.
8. Get a job before Spring Quarter. This ties into #7, but somehow I feel its a necessity regardless.
9. Reach the point where I can think out loud in front of my boyfriend. I read somewhere, probably Tumblr, those you can think out loud in front of are those you like the most. And I want to get there.
10. Only buy clothes if they are interesting pieces. I have wayyy too many basics, too many T-shirts, too many solid color clothing items that I buy purely because, when I see it at the store, I think, "Oh hey! I could match this with stuff!!1!!11!!!" My closet, though stupidly full of shit I don't need, isn't very interesting. Thus, I resolve to only spend my money on pieces that look unique, and not think about making it blend in with the rest of my apparel. Life's too short, man. 
11. Feel comfortable around my sorority sisters. The main thing that concerns me about staying in the chapter is that I haven't made genuine friends with many of the girls, and I'm still really embarrassed to be in their presences. They aren't my main group of friends. Mostly, I'm worried that I won't get an experience that is equal to the money it's costing me. And I don't know what I'm getting out of it yet. I've decided that if I can't feel at home by the end of freshman year, I'm going to deactivate :/ 
12. No soda, with the exception of + alcohol. I've done it before, I can do it again!
13. Keep a jar of all my good experiences. I love this idea. And so I've decorated two $1.99 bottles from Michael's, one as a late Christmas present for my sorority Big Sis, and the other for me. It's a pretty easy concept and I really want to do it! Here are the bottles I've been working on:

Favorite 2012 send-offs I've seen so far:





An Ode to the Cinnamon Challenge! 
"Dan Kim Pop Danthology 2012" - INCREDIBLE!
 Brad Hale of Now, Now's great New Year's Eve playlist!
"The mistake we'll all be making in the near future."

     Alright, I think that's it. So far I've baked some glass so the paint will stick to my New Year's bottles mentioned in #13, scrolled through Tumblr, and watched a shit ton of Django Unchained cast interviews off YouTube. It's been a good day so far. What happens tonight, we shall see!

♥ Happy Celebrating ♥

Interesting Reviews on Silver Linings Playbook

     I have this problem as a person who likes movies, where I get really self-conscious about my preferences very quickly. If someone disagrees with me on a film, especially someone who actually knows what they are talking about and is not an eighteen year-old little kid who can barely put her opinions on the internet without dissolving into a puddle of nerves, I honestly get very insecure very quickly. Especially because talking about movies is something that I really like to do... I kind of want to make it my career one day. Idiotic and overly-ambitious as that feels to me. I could never!

     Therefore, I generally try to avoid other reviews of films in general. Because if that person's opinion differs from mine, I get anxiety. This is not the time or place to talk about my strange in-between anxiety where it's worse than the average person's but not bad enough to actual seek some help with it (or maybe it is, considering the film in question is about mental illness?! To be clear, I didn't realize I had brought up my own mental skews within a post about mental skews until I was revising it...), but just know, I really don't want to read about negative reviews regarding Silver Linings Playbook. This is due to the fact that I liked and have already recommended it to a few friends... But here's the thing: I don't know very much about mental illness. I do not have a mental illness. No one really close to me in my personal life suffers from a mental illness to the degree addressed in this movie. And, shameful as it is to admit, every time I have been confronted with a problem revolving around mental illness, I have no idea what to do and surrender that person to someone who can help them more than I. I'm a useless friend when it comes down to it, and somehow that leads me to this conclusion: I think it's worth reading a lot of different reviews on Silver Linings Playbook. So I tried my best to find some gems through the Google search bar, and here lie my findings.

Let's play Pro-Con-Con-Pro. I'll start with a positive review, follow with two critiques, and to end on a positive note, we'll examine another instance in which the reviewer has some nice things to say.

( Top Photo from FanPop.com)

     My favorite positive review I've read so far about this film is one by arizonagirldiary on Tumblr, specifically because she can give the point of view I never can. She has appropriately titled her post, "A Bipolar Film From a Bipolar." Here's a little sneak peak: 

[About Excelsior]: "Not such a bad coping skill for the ups and downs of bipolar. His struggle, and resistance, to the idea of a life sentence of meds to level his ups and downs is painfully familiar and a common rite of passage for the newly diagnosed.

[...] Tiffany saves Pat. Pat saves Tiffany. This was as realistic of a scene of two mentally ill people trying to find a way to each other in cinema that I’ve seen. They’re fresh, modern, and believable as they ride their own individual roller coasters and collide with the challenges of mental illness, mixed in with the many other complexities of falling in love.

The ending is disappointing, formulaic, and predictable. But the characters, stories, and excellent film score (My Cherie Amour—Pat’s trigger; Girl from the North Country; and the pensive Maria from West Side Story) is worth an overpriced theater ticket. If you are bipolar—it’s a must see. If you have a bipolar in your life—go see and try to understand. Although just like in real life, some will and some won’t get it. In my own “n” population size of two—one got it and one did not. Just like in real life."

      This post is very personal in nature, and I like that it is an amateur review, much like mine are on this blog. It's just a girl blogging about a movie. Because of this, the review certainly provides a very interesting viewpoint; one that is kind of perfect, in my opinion.

READ THE FULL REVIEW HERE:

http://arizonagirldiary.tumblr.com/post/38196927556/a-bipolar-film-review-from-a-bipolar

(Photo from Fanpop.com)

    

     And here's a negative review, mainly critiquing David O. Russell's change in filmmaking, and the "lazy writing" in the construction of the story and the characters themselves. The writer, Calum Marsh, claims that this film has a multitude of flaws that are ignored, because they are attributed to the 'quirky' nature of the director. Though I do not necessarily agree with the review as a whole, I quite like this passage:

"That the star-crossed love story at the center of the film is drawn between two characters defined by their respective mental illnesses is clearly its high-concept selling point, and insofar as it single-handedly transforms an otherwise entirely conventional screwball-comedy pairing into something at least marginally novel, if not exactly original, the setup alone qualifies as quintessential Russellian quirk in action.

The brand of safe, marketable mental illness brandished by the screenplay as a dramatically meaty "issue"—the kind that affects the well-being of attractive individuals without significantly reducing their attractiveness to us except in a superficial, "fixable" way—furnishes Silver Linings Playbook with the requisite passive liberalism of any well-meaning prestige picture, making it "about" something meaningful without it having to put in the work of actually meaning anything."

      It is definitely valid to speculate that this film appears to get into the grits of mental illness without actually dealing with the consistency and unfixable nature of the problem (the main reason I love the ending of Black Snake Moan, a film, in part, about a couple's struggle with anxiety and sex addiction. Sidenote: please God don't judge a book by its cover when it comes to that movie. Whoever was in charge of marketing made it look like a porno). At the end of the movie, everything is silver linings; Pat's hallucinations are gone, Tiffany's unnamed illness seems cured, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. I can imagine that living with a mental illness, especially one so prevalent as to send a person into a psychiatric hospital less than a year ago, is a daily struggle. On the other hand, maybe David O. Russell just wanted a happy ending for his characters, though perhaps only for the time being. Maybe he wanted to show that it is possible for families to have blissfully happy times in spite of their many hardships.

READ THE FULL REVIEW HERE:

http://www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/silver-linings-playbook/6677

(Photos from MyDailyNews.com and BlackActors.net)

     I quite like the review I'm about to introduce, though it is a negative one. It is a well-put together article with a lot of excellent points! One of my main praises for Silver Linings Playbook was that it could help us talk more about mental illness, and so I'm very open and interested in this discussion. I like L.V. Anderson's take on the matter; the filmmakers could have gone deeper with their representation and analysis of mental illness. At the same time, it could have made for a much more dramatic movie. But perhaps that is what's really needed when you're going to take on this topic. Also, I love the title of this review: "Is Silver Linings Playbook Really A Movie About Mental Illness?"

"Russell doesn’t seem particularly interested in the question of what distinguishes a person’s mental illness from his or her personality, or the question of whether medication is as effective a treatment for bipolar disorder as a pretty girl and a dance competition. Russell doesn’t highlight whether or not Pat is medicated at any given time in the film’s narrative. Though we hear Pat complain of lithium’s side effects—sluggishness, weight gain—early in the film, we don’t see him actually experience any of these side effects once he starts taking his meds.

[...] Tiffany can only win Pat by lying to him repeatedly about the goal of their dance sessions—but is nonetheless presented as a perfect romantic partner for him at the end of the film, implicitly because of her own, unnamed illness. (Silver Linings Playbook falls into the annoying trope of implying that mentally ill people can only truly be understood by other mentally ill people, the details of their respective illnesses be damned.)

[...] As messages about mental illness go, this is a sloppy one." 

READ THE FULL REVIEW HERE:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2012/11/29/silver_linings_playbook_mental_illness_movie_not_really.html

(Photo from Popmatters.com)

     Finally, we end with a reviewer who found Silver Linings Playbook to be "hugely enjoyable." This review by Philip French praises both the writer/director and the actors for their work on this project. He acknowledges that Jennifer Lawrence's character is a popular one in Hollywood, but the actress's performance is what gives her depth and sets this movie out from the rest. Though ending with a slight criticism of the movie, I like this overview of the film as a whole:  

"The great strength of Russell's writing and direction resides in the way he consistently manages to retain a comic tone without losing touch with the characters' pains and anxieties. There are numerous scenes that in other hands would be as excruciatingly embarrassing on the screen as they would be in real life: a row in a diner, for instance, that spills out into the street on Halloween night and involves a crowd in fancy dress outside a cinema. But Russell involves us so closely in what we're watching that we become emotional participants. And that's because he cares for these people in a wholly unpatronising fashion."

READ THE FULL REVIEW HERE:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/nov/25/silver-linings-playbook-review

 (Photo from zimbio.com)

And there you have it! The search for differing opinions actually turned out to be a lot easier than I expected it to be. After a little bit of searching, I started to get used to it. I started to get comfortable in the insecurity of my own thoughts, and in a way, it was a really positive experience. I don't think I was wrong in my review. But I feel like my opinion on the film has extended, into something that now bears multiple dimensions. At the same time, I'm really glad I already got to express my initial thoughts on the movie, without the influence of other reviewers, because it was my honest opinion. I think if I were to read other reviews before I made my own, I would feel this need to "correct" my own opinions, because of those anxieties and insecurities I have. Which is wrong!! That is not something I want for myself, at all. And somehow, even after facing other opinions, I'm still proud of the thoughts in my original review, and I don't take any of it back (:

The point of this post is not to tear down the film I raved about a few posts ago, but to point out that even the things we enjoy are not beyond criticism. Nothing is flawless. And it is possible to acknowledge the faults of a piece of work without disliking it altogether. Overall, I still think Silver Linings Playbook is a great movie! And I hope the actors in this film get the recognition they deserve in this upcoming award season. The outlook certainly looks promising on that front!  Whether the reviews above sway your opinion or not, I hope you at the very least keep an open mind while reading them. I'm doing my best not to fear a difference of opinion. And if I can do it, trust me, you certainly can too.

♥ Happy Watching ♥

Outfit of the Day and Christmas Celebrations!

     
     I'm not much of a Christmas person, but I had quite a good day yesterday! The problem I have with Christmas, I think, goes along with my "Low Expectations" philosophy in a way. All month you're constantly bombarded with the holiday. The songs! The movie specials! The commericals! The sales! During the month of December, I feel like I'm being built up to desire a "classic" or "magical" Christmas; one that doesn't actually exist in reality. I always think I must be missing something when I'm not filled with that magical feeling. Even when I was a child, I never remember Christmas being my favorite holiday. Plus, as I've grown, I've found that spending time with family makes me a tad anxious, probably purely because it's a social situation... Whoops! I don't think I've ever said that out loud, because I'm worried I'll accidentally offend someone. But someone's got to do the tough talk about Christmas! This is a hard-hitting issue, people.

So it's definitely not the "most wonderful time of the year" for me, but seeing my family down by the beach was lovely! Their house is always decked out for Christmas, the ham was great, I cut up a pie for the first time, and we got to watch movies!!! I always feel less pressure on holidays where we're permitted to sit on the couch and watch movies hahaha. I even got to take an hour long nap for the second day in a row, continuing my accidental tradition of never having seen "A Christmas Story" all the way through. 

     I also took this opportunity to do my first Outfit of the Day, mainly because this is the first time I've felt proud of the clothes and makeup I've done since the reanimation of my blog. Also, because holidays make me nervous (now that I've admitted it, I'm realizing how true it is. Wow.), I wanted to waste some time before heading over to my dad's house. This outfit is composed of entirely cheap things, I'm sure, so maybe I can't be a proper fashion blogger, but I can be that cheap, relatable neighborhood fashion blogger... :P

Pictures I took by myself, of myself... Outfit of the Day: 12/25/12

The shirt is definitely from Forever 21, I believe the pants are from Kohl's, and I bought these lovely earrings from Buffalo Exchange last year. And I recently got these beautiful flats on sale at Urban Outfitters for $20. Though I find flats in general to be very uncomfortable, they are not too bad, especially with tiny socks (whatever those may be called... you know the socks I'm talking about, yeah?). And I recently acquired this really sick ring via Cathy's sister, who is trying out Minimalism in 2013! I paired this outfit with a black cardigan right before I left, because even though I'm in Southern California, it's still December!

♥ Happy Living ♥

Christmas Eve!

     In my family, it's always been Christmas Eve with my mother's family and Christmas Day with my father's family.  Because my mom's side is German, we do a massive (and delicious. Holy hell, this year's menu of prime rib, pice pilaf, and Hawaiian bread rolls was incredible) meal and open all of the presents on Christmas Eve. I absolutely love going over to my grandma and grandpa's house in Huntington Beach every year. So I thought I'd chronicle the evening through pictures, without an overwhelming written explanation. Just something I can do quickly before going to bed (: I quite like the series, and I hope you do too! Not pictured: me falling asleep on the couch for an hour before dinner, and my dog craftily stealing a bread roll off the bench alongside the dining room table before dessert. 

♥ Happy Holidays ♥

Harry Potter and That Time I Got Emotional at 3AM

     On my list of goals for yesterday was to watch a French movie and review it, but after I couldn't find a link for La Vie en Rose ANYWHERE on the vast expanse of the internet, finally settled for a romantic comedy on Netflix, and had the strain of that program cause my computer to freeze and shut down, I wasn't really in the mood anymore. So, I set out on my other goal for the day: get to page 500 in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. And I ended up reading until 3AM without every realizing what time it was.

 

     I only checked the clock when I turned on my computer again, sobbing and bearing this heavy feeling in my chest that, in my experience, can only be caused by books and media. Something about the last paragraph in Chapter 23, Horcruxes, moved me so much, I couldn't control myself or my emotions. After reading and re-reading the passage and the page over again, I sat in my bed and contemplated it, just weeping. Then I got up and paced back and forth from the bathroom, thinking more and more about it. It was only when I had calmed down a little did I feel the urge to chronicle this emotion... whatever it was.

And so, here is what I constructed on Tumblr at 3AM this morning

“But he understood at last what Dumbledore had been trying to tell him. It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew— and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents—that there was all the difference in the world.”

     i have literally just been sitting, contemplating this quote and crying for fucking minutes. i don’t know why this paragraph struck such a chord with me, but i re-read it three times and i just… at the first level, it got me at “and so did my parents.” fuck, i have chills all over my arms and i’m crying now just thinking about it. that whole section: “and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents.” what a victorious moment, you know?! i can’t even explain why this gets to me so much, i don’t know what my emotions are doing?? and harry’s proud of himself but also his parents. because they did know. they faced voldemort with courage. james didn’t try to hide, and lily didn’t run away, though she could have. they walked into the arena with their head’s held high. and harry is doing the same thing. the prophecy didn’t force him into this fight; he stands there defiantly and willingly, and it just feels like one of those moments where a person becomes a hero.

     and for some reason this whole passage is so fucking true to me, and i don’t know why it makes me cry so much, and makes my throat constrict and make it really fucking difficult to breathe, but it just get what they’re saying. there’s a huge difference in the way you walk into a battle to the death. it’s about choosing hope over resignation, bravery over fear, power over weakness, dignity over lowliness, strength over defeat. it’s about walking into the fight and fucking fighting.

I'm nearly finished with the sixth installment of the Harry Potter series now... and over a year after I started, I'm almost done with my Harry Potter re-read. This book has actually been one of my least favorites, and though tiny moments have made me swell a bit with fangirl feelings (Harry owning the Minister of Magic, Dumbledore nearly crying when Harry proclaims himself as "Dumbledore's man through and through," Luna getting excited over the prospect of being friends with anyone, Mr. Weasley saying how lucky they were to have Ron sit next to Harry on the train their first year, Ron sort of saying "I love you" to Hermione), this book has not made me as emotional or kept my interest as the others have, in general.

     But last night was a reminder of why I love this book series. It gave me all of the emotion that I've missed the past six months without Harry Potter. That was the most moved I've felt by a single paragraph, I think. And it's incredible that words can do that to a person. I've missed reading in general, but I've run out of time, and my real life at college is more wonderful than I could have imagined. I'm going to definitely put in the effort next quarter to get some reading done though!! At the very least, I am going to complete this HP re-read and enjoy the overwhelming waves of feelings that overtakes me. On one hand, I fear this journey ending, but at the same time I'm so excited to read The Deathly Hallows because I remember so little of it.

I think I'll do a proper review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince when I'm finished with it, but for now, enjoy this ramble! It feels as though my blog has been lacking in words lately.

 ♥ Happy Reading, and Merry Almost-Christmas! ♥

Cathy's Outfit of the Day: 12/21/12

As you saw in yesterday's post, Cathy and I hung out once again, and we improvised a vlog! Being her usual self, Cathy showed up in the most adorable outfit possible, even after waking up at 7AM and running on six hours of sleep. Meanwhile, I was rocking nine hours of beautiful slumber and still sat around in pajamas all day... Whoops. So here is Cathy's Outfit of the Day! Looking flawless for the end of the world.

 ♥ Happy Post-Apocalyptic Living ♥

Ouran High School Host Club: A Mini Review!

     After watching Nanalew's "Anime 101" video and listening to her rave about Ouran High School Host Club, we thought we'd dive into the first two episodes! I loved this series in middle school; still to this day, it is honestly one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. Here are our thoughts after beginning this lovely anime. It's meant to be a video response, but apparently you can't see video responses with the new YouTube format?! Oh well.

I don't really have anything more to say; we accidentally got into the social implications of the show rather than review the show's content... which is not necessarily a bad thing, it was just not the original intent haha. Just know, the show is adorable and hilarious, because I'm sure we didn't stress it enough!

Nanalew's original video: http://youtu.be/KZPKxq92Cp4

Our response!

♥ Happy Watching ♥

A Visit with Wheezy: Part I

     This is my best friend Cathy. She is the most creative and cutest and dorkiest and loveliest and most compassionate person I know, and though I'm not the type to miss people, yesterday I realized how much I've missed her these past couple months at school. And it was the best day I've had since returning to my hometown. Together we traveled to The Camp and The Lab in Costa Mesa in the search of a present and plenty of beautiful goodies to buy for ourselves (well... me. Yesterday somehow evolved into Christmas for me; I bought business casual clothes for myself, Cathy's mother showered me in nail polish, and her sister decided to give me THE ABSOLUTE BEST JEWELRY because she is trying out some minimalism for the coming year. All of which will be featured in a post to follow!).

Outfit of the Day: The Most Adorable Babygirl Ever

Being around Cathy honestly makes me a 203954396468% more creative person. This past quarter, I pretty much reverted to what my friend Rani would affectionately refer to as "hobo mode." I gave up wearing makeup about a week in (which actually did wonders for my self-esteem and my skin, and I spent a lot less time getting ready every morning) and after that went south, my uniform became the same pair of pants with a varied assortment of T-shirts. Not that that is a negative thing whatsoever! This quarter was the happiest I've ever been with the way I look (: But being around Cathy makes my mind go crazy with all of these potential outfit pairings and hairstyles and makeup tricks. Hanging out with her makes my brain want to produce creative things, and it's almost like it forgets the process once she's gone.

Cathy's Perfectly Adorable Hair

      After getting lost in rush-hour traffic because my phone refused to accept any route home that didn't involve paying a toll, and accidentally passing by the residence halls at my school, we settled into the drive-thru at Carl's Jr. to get some well-earned combos. After a struggle to order (I've never been the one in the driver's seat to yell out orders at the drive-thru, okay?! It was cause for many apologies on my part, awkward shouting at the call box, and muffled laughter from Cathy in the passenger's seat), we received our food, which included what turned out to be one of the most satisfying burgers of my life, and headed back to Cathy's. 

     Somehow, like it usually seems to, we ended up on art. As an early Christmas gift from a friend, Cathy got this lovely multi-media kit with an artist's journal inside, and so she wanted help christening the first page. So we... uhm... tried?! With Cathy as a bona fide artist and me as an amateur at best, we ended up with an... interesting... hybrid of Jesus and Frida Kahlo (whose name I affectionately spelled wrong on the painting. Whoops.) If you're in need of a laugh, please direct your attention to the picture directly below: 

  But whatever, it was fun, attempting to use nail polish for his/her lipstick and listening to reality TV in the background. "I'm going to freaking freak out!" "Jessseee!" I have no idea what television show it was, but this girl was certainly entertaining. Bless you, woman! Hahaha. 

     This is the first post in what I think is going to be a three-part deal. Stay tuned for a tour around the ever-in-progress, perfect eclecticism that is Cathy's bedroom, and a haul of the clothes and jewelery I procured today. The amount I was given today was insane, in physical gifts and in love, and I'm so thankful. I wish I could express this enough to Cathy and her family. Happy Holidays ♥     

Yesterday was one of the greats. Driving around, swearing at other drivers, car-dancing to some of the best music, feeling my mind unlock in a way it hasn't in months, scarfing down french fries and Dr. Pepper while steering, and laughing hysterically with my best friend. 

It was the kind of day I've been waiting for.

The Hobbit: A Review

Because I've done a fair amount of writing the last couple of days, and I don't think I have anything particularly intelligible to say about the movie, I've decided to try my hand at a vlog review of The Hobbit. I like how it turned out; it certainly wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be!

     But I did miss a major point about the movie as a whole, that I didn't realize until afterwards. Making this video actually inspired me to go into my "Lord of the Rings" tag on Tumblr and I must say, the amount of times LOTR made me feel emotional, and the INTENSITY of that emotion, were way beyond anything The Hobbit could even scratch the surface of. That may be what was lacking from the movie in general; that emotion. Corny and cheesy as the original series was, somehow I was, am, and always will be in love with it because of the many things it made me feel. I don't think any other movie series has done that for me. However, the final explosion of ALL THE FEELS didn't happen until The Return of the King, so maybe The Hobbit is just starting off slow and will build later? Still, something interesting I thought of post-vlog.

Dorkvader's movie review that I mention at 4:05.
Evidence that Peter Jackson didn't make everything up.
Have a nice day (:

Faintly French: Film #1

     This past fall, I took my first quarter of French. And after adjusting to how insanely quick the course moves, I've come to really like the language. Which is good, considering I've got five quarters to go. That's right; for the school of Humanities, you need two years of a language and French is my hesitant pick! After ten weeks, my pronunciation is almost half-way decent and I know a fucking hell of a lot of vocabulary words. However, most of the language and culture is still a mystery to me; I am Faintly French. Har-har. But, like a dumbass, I forgot all of my notes from French 1A in my dorm and thus, I haven't given myself an easy avenue of study over the break. I don't really know how to practice a language in unconventional ways; I've never been gifted with languages... In any capacity. However, I've heard a lot of foreigners mention they learned English by watching movies and reading books in that language. And Tim Ferriss touches upon his process of learning languages in this video, starting at around 2:16. The fact that this works doesn't make sense to me at all; how can it?! But I'm going to try it out anyway, and attempt to keep myself up on French through film.

So I gave myself a goal: at a minimum, two French films a week for the duration of winter break.

I hope to also read some articles in French, plus my sister (who is a goddess at speaking in tongues; she's currently studying abroad in Germany for the year) sent me some language sites at the beginning of the school term... She says the site she uses most is IELanguages.com. I haven't checked it out yet, but it seems to have a lot of good info! In addition, my sister gave me link for LingQ, which helps those trying to learn a language on their own. She said, however to check out the tutorial, because it's a difficult website to explain haha. I've also changed my Facebook to French this morning, so we'll see how that goes.

     Anyway, without further ado, here is Film #1: A 2010 romantic comedy called Les Émotifs Anonymes, or as it's called on Netflix Instant Play, Romantics Anonymous.

     After such a long introduction, I actually don't have a ton to say about this movie other than I really, really, really like it! I think it's an incredibly well-done romantic comedy, coming from someone who isn't the biggest fan of the genre. It's awkward, very awkward, but in a way that I found incredibly endearing while watching. From the internet I've seen a great deal of people who felt too uncomfortable to watch the entire thing. But honestly the discomfort of it all really made the film for me. I found it extremely relatable. Because human contact is stressful! Pursuing your dream is one of the most anxiety-inducing processes of all-time! Being confronted by superiors who judge your craft makes me want to faint! And trying to be in a relationship, and putting yourself on the line is extremely difficult. I'm in one, my first one, and I find it extremely difficult. I don't think I put myself and my heart on the line enough within my relationship, honestly. Letting down that guard is an awkward thing, for me at least. I'm an anxious person by nature. And that is why this movie makes sense to me.

     More than that, I got very emotionally invested in these characters by the end of it. When they united with all of their friends watching, and Jean-René motions for everyone to turn around while they kiss, my heart swelled to fifty times its normal size. I love the ensemble at the chocolate factory and the anonymous meetings as well; they were all very cute and likeable. The plot line itself is a very romantic one, in my opinion... the making of chocolate. And having them run away from their wedding together, because the anxiety was too much to handle... The absolute perfect ending.

Très bien!! 

Also, today I am going to see The Hobbit with my best friend, who I haven't seen in almost three months. I have a feeling the movie is not going to be very good, even though I'm rooting for it to be so. I love Peter Jackson and Martin Freeman and the entire original cast, but you know. It's tough to do sequels and prequels, and to do them properly. And the settings look far too computer-generated for me, from what I've seen in the trailers. At least I've got low expectations on my side! I'll let you know how it is!

Silver Linings Playbook

      According to IMDB, Silver Linings Playbook is about: "Life doesn't always go according to plan. Pat Solatano has lost everything - his house, his job, and his wife. He now finds himself living back with his mother and father after spending eight months in a state institution on a plea bargain. Pat is determined to rebuild his life, remain positive and reunite with his wife, despite the challenging circumstances of their separation. All Pat's parents want is for him to get back on his feet - and to share their family's obsession with the Philadelphia Eagles football team. When Pat meets Tiffany, a mysterious girl with problems of her own, things get complicated. Tiffany offers to help Pat reconnect with his wife, but only if he'll do something very important for her in return. As their deal plays out, an unexpected bond begins to form between them, and silver linings appear in both of their lives." Written by The Weinstein Company.

    

     It should come as no shock when I say that this movie is amazing. True, I spent more time thinking than feeling, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. And it's not the film's fault at all; this movie was shot beautifully, with emotionally-charged musical moments and slow-motion sequences that made my heart swell. But perhaps knowing you're going to be writing about a movie and thinking of all its possible implications makes it difficult to fully get into. When you're trying to gauge the quality of a performance, the underlying meanings of every line, and the weaving in-and-out of social issues, it's kind of rough.

     But I think that compliments my number one mantra in life: Low Expectations. In Silver Linings Playbook, Bradley Cooper's character is all about Excelsior. And I'm all about the power of minimized expectations. I've been way too excited about this movie for way too long, physically unable to get my ass to a movie theater. So I think it's safe to say that my expectations were too high for this film, only because they were too far into the stratosphere for anyone to see. While I wasn't emotionally impacted by this movie, I know it was incredible. I KNOW it, from an intellectual and observational standpoint. So keep that in mind (bud-um-ching). Besides, my mother was full of enough warm fuzzies for the both of us.

(Photo from jenniferlawrencedaily.com)

     I am in love with this movie visually. The colors in combination with the high aperture and surprising camera choices made the film really fun to watch. Some of my favorite scenes coupled the traditional, but exceptionally wonderful and romantic and soft music pieces with these insanely quick camera zooms that shouldn't have fit at all... and yet they did. This movie is a mismatched heaven. Like the contrast of Stevie Wonder's "Ma Cherie Amour" and beating the living shit out of someone. It's all in the juxtaposition. And at times, soft music paired itself with tender moments that complimented each other as expected. My favorite of these sequences was the dancing bit with "Girl from North Country" by Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash. Too in love with that song to not. Also, visual goodies to look out for: Jennifer Lawrence's dark style and what I perceive to be a very New England color scheme. What I'm trying to say is, this film is an aesthetic goddess.

     
     The performances in this movie, also not surprisingly, were incredible! Every actor brought their A-game, and each made choices that distinctly separated each character's personality. Though each performance matched in quality, none of them were similar. Jacki Weaver was timid and loving, only just barely keeping herself from shattering under the weight of her family's own dysfunction. But she was more than the mother who cries in the background... she held her own. Bradley Cooper played his role without pity for his character's condition (thank god) and just enough delusion to remain believable. He wasn't a gimmick, and was able to openly weep and resist the urge to explode and babble about the hopeless cause that was once his marriage without going over the top. Pat was a multi-faceted person. Which is what I love about the characters in this film-- they feel like real people. 

     And that is specifically why I think Jennifer Lawrence did amazingly in this movie. She was perfect; she spent a good portion of the movie in a fit of immature screaming, but it was so complimentary of who her character was. It was screaming like that of a little girl. She was confusing and chaotic and damaged in a way that was so opposite of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. The credit for that one goes to the writers and her. And I'm so incredibly thankful for that, because I feel like her character could have so easily been a tool to peel back the layers of Bradley Cooper's character, one who heals him and makes him appreciate the joys of life, instead of a fully-developed woman herself. But she was. And Jennifer Lawrence did everything wonderfully, with her performance exuding equal parts comedy and tragedy.

     I'd say my favorite performance from the film was definitely Robert De Niro, though. His character really took me by surprise. I thought he was just there to be the father, to be heartbroken by his son's illness and expecting Pat to get better too quickly. But his character was so much more than that. Robert De Niro's role honestly made the movie for me. Its existence added a million and one dimensions to the film, and I think it wouldn't have been half the movie it was without Robert De Niro. He was absolutely stunning. But I'm sure that doesn't come as a shock to anyone.

(Photo from blackfilm.com)

     Which leads me into my next point: I found this film's approach to mental illness incredibly interesting. I think it explored the many layers that come with such a sensitive topic, which only added to the realness of it all. Each character brought up a different assertion about mental illness in our society. Jacki Weaver personified that feeling of not knowing how to handle your love one's mood disorder, even at times pretending it doesn't exist in an effort to achieve normality. And there were so many people that couldn't disguise their fear to even be in the same vicinity as Pat. Which isn't unwarranted; he almost killed a man. But I think the intertwining of these character attributes represent very common opinions in regard to mental illness, the fear of what we don't understand and cannot predict. But, I do feel that John Ortiz's character represents that part in us that practices violent behavior, how that fucked up tendency can be within everyone, even those who are considered to be "normal." So there's a quality that can be related to, and empathy to clearly be had by the viewer.

Robert De Niro's character evoked a lot of really fascinating topics in my opinion, especially how one generation treats mental illness vs. the next. When Bradley Cooper's character snaps and beats the shit out of someone, he's sent to a mental facility, and yet in his father's day, he could get kicked out of Eagle's stadium for getting into numerous fistfights without such consequences. His father is allowed to get away with practicing completely irrational superstitions without being corrected. He is clearly not in the most balanced state of mind, and yet everyone is willing to play along for him. No one tries to correct the father's mental issues, but Pat isn't allowed to go on so much as a run without harassment. 

      I think the placement of Robert De Niro's character (and Jennifer Lawrence's character, Tiffany, who I'll get to in a second) opposite of Bradley Cooper's character also really touches on the idea that some mental disorders are a lot more accepted by our culture than others. Oh, you have completely incoherent superstitions, bet thousands of dollars based on these nonsensical ideas, and blame the loss of an entire football team on one girl? Go for it! You like to blast Metallica and break the things in your garage to let off steam? It's a secret; no need to stop you! You feel the need to control every aspect of your life to a frightening degree? Well, that's your business. There are certain unhealthy practices that we as a society accept. And yet when it is labelled a mental illness, there is an incredible amount of shame and superiority involved. It can be seen from Pat's return home, and the first thing he sees is his portrait, on the floor below his brother's. It can be seen in the way that a kid thinks he has the right to show up and videotape someone he believes to be having a 'psychotic episode.' It can be seen when everyone warns Pat to stay away from Tiffany as though she is contagious and of no worth because she 'goes to a lot of therapy.' Even Pat does it, completely rejecting Tiffany and viewing himself as superior when her coping mechanism involves a string of promiscuity.

     Of course, such a moment has sexist implications as well. Many in our society see promiscuity as a bad thing. But this movie doesn't slut-shame! In fact, it dealt with the issue surprisingly well in my opinion. It recognized that some women have a lot of sex because they want to and its their bodies to do what they please with, while also acknowledging that Tiffany specifically is doing so as a means of unhealthily coping with her depression. There's this scene where a creep shows up at Tiffany's door, and I love what Bradley Cooper's character says to him. It's something along the lines of, "there's a time when this is okay, and then there's a time when someone's got a broken wing to be mended. And hers is being fixed." So there's an acknowledgment there that it is totally okay for woman to have casual sex, but there are also instances where a broken person is doing it in an attempt, an ultimately unsuccessful attempt, to fix themselves.

     Also, there's a really lovely part where Pat calls Tiffany a slut and she just yells at him (I can't quote okay I saw the movie a few hours ago but I'm doing my best), "Yeah! I was a big slut, but I'm not anymore and you know what, I accept and love that part of myself. Do you?!" Tiffany calls Pat out multiple times when he treats her as lesser for her promiscuity, which I think are important moments for both woman and people of mental illness: there should be no feeling of superiority or shame when it comes to the different levels "crazy," and yet everyone acts as though there is. As though some are lesser because of their mood disorders. I think in this film, the shame that comes with mental disorders, and the insensitivity or inability to understand of those without diagnosed illnesses are very relevant to our culture.  

     I know this is a big block of text, but beyond the obviously great performances and stylistic godliness, I am so glad for this film to get more and more recognition because I think it could be a window into the way we see mental illness! Even though I've read an article saying it unintentionally insults those with mental disorders, at least it may get us talking! (I however, don't see any offenses... but then again, I don't have a mental illness. Tell me what you think?)

SO GO SEE SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK! PLEASE!

 (Photo from thealtantic.com)