Making Me A Fighter

     The Katy Perry phase I mentioned in my last post was centered around one song in particular, "Who Am I Living For?" I'd be lying if I said this wasn't because the lyrics reminded me so much of Daenerys Targaryen, the most empowering character of all-time ever and my khaleesi for the rest of my days, from the HBO show Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire book series.

I mean, look at these lyrics:

"It's never easy to be chosen, never easy to be called,

Standing on the front lines when the bombs start to fall. 

I can see the heavens, but I still hear the flames calling out my name."

     Inspired by this, I devised plans for a playlist about Daenerys in my travel journal, originally titled "Dany, Pop Princess." Obviously, the title had to go, but the theme remained the same: empowering pop powerhouses to narrate Daenery's rise to complete badassery.

I'm proud to finally present, Making Me A Fighter.

Making Me A Fighter from reservoirsnogs on 8tracks Radio.

      I'm very proud of this fanmix (which also makes an excellent workout playlist, I might add), and all of the thought I put into selecting each song and determining the order of its appearance. I'm also quite happy with the artwork I designed for it. With that in mind, I'll quickly take you through some of the choices I made.  

Season One

1) Rootless - Marina and the Diamonds. Chosen to match the fleeing of Dany and her brother, "The Beggar King." Though Daenerys expresses a deep desire to go home, nothing resembling 'home' exists anymore.
2) Who Am I Living for? - Katy Perry. Chosen to show the frightening but truthful feeling Dany has that perhaps there is greatness in store for her.

3) Domesticated - VersaEmerge. Chosen because though Daenerys is the wife of a Khal, she was never meant to just be "someone's wife." The Iron Throne is not meant for her brother or her son, even; it's for her.

4) My Blood - Ellie Goulding. Chosen for Dany's decision to trade her son and succumb to dark magic in an effort to save her husband.

5) Drive My Soul - Lights. Chosen for the realization that it is time to let go of her husband, as afraid as she may be.

6) Last Hope - Paramore. Chosen for Daenerys' emergence from the flames with her newborn dragons at the end of Season One.

 

 Season Two 

7) Scared of Lonely - Beyoncé. Chosen for Daenerys' desperation and fear for the death of, or abandonment by, her khalasar at the start of this season. 

8) You've Got Time - Regina Spektor. Chosen because of the lyrics, "Remember all their faces, remember all their voices. Everything is different the second time around." She must appear strong and take risks to save her people. There is no one to save her and her khalasar but Daenerys herself.

9) The Outsider - Marina and the Diamonds. Chosen to show Dany's relationship to Qarth and its people.     

10) Dreams So Real - Metric. Chosen for Daenerys' journey through the House of the Undying. Though she sees strange visions and loved ones from the grave, she must suppress fear and continue on by herself.  

11) Bring Me Down - Kanye West.  Chosen to illustrate Daenery's final push into the realm of a royal mindset. When Pyat Pree, Xaro Xhoan Daxos and (in the show) Doreah think they can betray her, she punishes them ruthlessly and regains her power, along with her dragons. I especially think the lyrics, "They gon' have to take my life before they take my drive, 'cause when I was barely livin', that's what kept me alive" applies to Dany. She came from nothing, and will persevere. 

 Season Three

12) Fighter - Christina Aguilera. If I had to pick one anthem for Daenerys, it would be this. Everything she's been through has made her both badass and fiercely compassionate. She began as a meek little girl, learned to stand up for herself, and evolved into a legendary and insanely inspiring Fighter. 

13) Beat It - Michael Jackson. Chosen to illustrate the way in which men try to fight Daenerys. I love the lyric, "Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man," because Dany always gives men the option to surrender peacefully, but their masculine pride leads to their downfall.

14) Bring the Noize - M.I.A. Mainly chosen for the lyric, "Just 'cause I'm a mum don't make me thick." Daenerys' compassion and motherly character traits only make her stronger, though ignorant opponents perceive them as signs of weakness. And so, she is ready to crush them into dust.

15) One Beat - Sleater-Kinney. Chosen because I find this song to be very empowering. The song instrumentally and vocally sounds so powerful. Lyrics on the topic of rising and discovering don't hurt either.

16) Handlebars - Flobots. Chosen to match the immensity of Daenerys' string of conquers in the last season. If she wants to do something, she will sure as hell achieve it. And with her track record of freeing slaves, stopping rapes, and having an unfailing aura of chosenness throughout the show, the lyrics "my cause is noble, my power is pure" fit all too well.

     Maybe it's strange that I put this much effort into a playlist, but I'm very proud of this creation. I have never been empowered by a character like I have been by Daenerys Targaryen, the impact of which is made even more meaningful by the fact that one time I heard Emilia Clarke say in an interview that if one woman felt empowered by Dany, then she'd done her job. I'm that one woman, and there are thousands of more just like me. I've said it once and I'll say it again: I watch the scene of Daenerys buying and then freeing the army of the Unsullied every time I need to get pumped up for something. Afterward, I feel like I can climb Everest. And I caught up with seasons one and two of Game of Thrones simply because I saw the scene and wanted to know the context surrounding it. Dany means a lot to me, and my love for her keeps swelling as I make my way through the first book. I hope you take a listen and enjoy!

♥ Happy Listening ♥  

Take Care the Body.

    Today, I had my final lecture for my Asian American Studies class. Such an incredible course; it really fed my love for critical analysis, the books we read were usually extremely interesting, especially the last two (which I will go more into later, during Spring Break.) Not to mention that in my discussion section, we analyzed modern pop culture like Korean hip hop (during which we were shown the "Are We There Yet?" by Dumfoundead music video, which I mentioned in February's Music of the Month post. Ugh, so good.) and the Harlem Shake. How one definition of the Harlem Shake can mask an original meaning. Amazing, amazing! I'll probably go more into depth as to why I loved this class during Spring Break, but for now, I want to leave a quote here.

"Take care the body. See you after the War." 

     This is the final line of the final book we read in class, "All I asking for is my body" by Milton Murayama. For whatever reason, this line really resonated with me. Maybe you have to read the entire novel to understand, but it's just a really powerful statement for me. Something about it just stuck in my chest. It's like telling someone, "Take care of yourself, and I'll see you once the hard times are over." There is something so strong and so inspiring about it. I repeated this phrase to myself the entire walk back to my dorm. It's especially impactful when you've seen the theme of the human body carried throughout the book, how it is abused by plantation work, how boxing can be a source of freedom, how the body is sexualized as you grow, how it must be subjected to the potential horrors of war in exchange for citizenship. I just loved the way this story, with its larger themes, was told through the metaphor of the body. It's not just the physical body to be taken care of, but the human soul. I am absolutely moved by it. 

     This is probably not making any sense outside of my own head, but I just wanted to share this line with the world before I go about my everyday. I think I'll make a sign out of this and post it in my dorm room, to look at as I exit for the day. A reminder to take care of myself and my body, and whatever happens out there, I'll be back in my safe space soon. Obviously none of my hardships have ever been even close to Kiyoshi's, but after seeing the world through his eyes for one hundred pages, I understand it's meaning, and knowing how significant that line is to him and his family causes me to feel so many things. I can't explain it. 

     Anyway, I need to get back to studying. See you guys soon!

Harry Potter and That Time I Got Emotional at 3AM

     On my list of goals for yesterday was to watch a French movie and review it, but after I couldn't find a link for La Vie en Rose ANYWHERE on the vast expanse of the internet, finally settled for a romantic comedy on Netflix, and had the strain of that program cause my computer to freeze and shut down, I wasn't really in the mood anymore. So, I set out on my other goal for the day: get to page 500 in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. And I ended up reading until 3AM without every realizing what time it was.

 

     I only checked the clock when I turned on my computer again, sobbing and bearing this heavy feeling in my chest that, in my experience, can only be caused by books and media. Something about the last paragraph in Chapter 23, Horcruxes, moved me so much, I couldn't control myself or my emotions. After reading and re-reading the passage and the page over again, I sat in my bed and contemplated it, just weeping. Then I got up and paced back and forth from the bathroom, thinking more and more about it. It was only when I had calmed down a little did I feel the urge to chronicle this emotion... whatever it was.

And so, here is what I constructed on Tumblr at 3AM this morning

“But he understood at last what Dumbledore had been trying to tell him. It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew— and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents—that there was all the difference in the world.”

     i have literally just been sitting, contemplating this quote and crying for fucking minutes. i don’t know why this paragraph struck such a chord with me, but i re-read it three times and i just… at the first level, it got me at “and so did my parents.” fuck, i have chills all over my arms and i’m crying now just thinking about it. that whole section: “and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents.” what a victorious moment, you know?! i can’t even explain why this gets to me so much, i don’t know what my emotions are doing?? and harry’s proud of himself but also his parents. because they did know. they faced voldemort with courage. james didn’t try to hide, and lily didn’t run away, though she could have. they walked into the arena with their head’s held high. and harry is doing the same thing. the prophecy didn’t force him into this fight; he stands there defiantly and willingly, and it just feels like one of those moments where a person becomes a hero.

     and for some reason this whole passage is so fucking true to me, and i don’t know why it makes me cry so much, and makes my throat constrict and make it really fucking difficult to breathe, but it just get what they’re saying. there’s a huge difference in the way you walk into a battle to the death. it’s about choosing hope over resignation, bravery over fear, power over weakness, dignity over lowliness, strength over defeat. it’s about walking into the fight and fucking fighting.

I'm nearly finished with the sixth installment of the Harry Potter series now... and over a year after I started, I'm almost done with my Harry Potter re-read. This book has actually been one of my least favorites, and though tiny moments have made me swell a bit with fangirl feelings (Harry owning the Minister of Magic, Dumbledore nearly crying when Harry proclaims himself as "Dumbledore's man through and through," Luna getting excited over the prospect of being friends with anyone, Mr. Weasley saying how lucky they were to have Ron sit next to Harry on the train their first year, Ron sort of saying "I love you" to Hermione), this book has not made me as emotional or kept my interest as the others have, in general.

     But last night was a reminder of why I love this book series. It gave me all of the emotion that I've missed the past six months without Harry Potter. That was the most moved I've felt by a single paragraph, I think. And it's incredible that words can do that to a person. I've missed reading in general, but I've run out of time, and my real life at college is more wonderful than I could have imagined. I'm going to definitely put in the effort next quarter to get some reading done though!! At the very least, I am going to complete this HP re-read and enjoy the overwhelming waves of feelings that overtakes me. On one hand, I fear this journey ending, but at the same time I'm so excited to read The Deathly Hallows because I remember so little of it.

I think I'll do a proper review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince when I'm finished with it, but for now, enjoy this ramble! It feels as though my blog has been lacking in words lately.

 ♥ Happy Reading, and Merry Almost-Christmas! ♥